Captain's Log: how to commit career Suicide 6/26/09

To swipe a slogan from Dave Chappelle , “Damn. Perez Hilton is fucking up!” The, possibly former, beloved bitchy blogger has strung together an impressive string of public embarrassments that would make Mel “Sugar tits-holocaust denier” wince. Only instants after his tragic heart attack Perez Hilton implied that Jackson’s cardiac arrest was an ill inspired attempt to back out of his obligation to perform in Europe. If you remember kids MJ was contractually bound, and even sued because of his reluctance, to hopscotch across Europe as per the agreement he made with...I dunno, some royalty...

And by the way isn’t royalty such an antiquated system of figurehead government? At least in America our figurehead heads of state only claim “God made them President” rather than actually believing it. Or maybe we’re not that different. Hmmm...

Anyway, Jackson yielded opting to make good on his word; leading to the scheduled 50 performances at the O2 Arena from next month through March. To be fair, Hilton’s career has been constructed on the premise on sniffing around the heels of legitimate media for a story rank enough to rant about. I’m technically in the same “business” [I use that word loosely as no one pays for...or even reads my work. Worst- Twitter –Followers- Ever]. It’s just that the timing of his contemptible comments on the King of Pop’s death, which was unannounced at the time, couldn’t have been worse.
His words can be viewed here. Assuming he doesn’t have enough tact to take them down.
@perezhilton http://twitpic.com/8et2f

The result? One of the biggest Twitter wars(I never thought I would write that)since the inception of the site. Celebrities who have themselves often faced the skewering opinions of Perez fired back with some nasty stuff.
This internet altercation arrives hot on the heels of Hilton losing the support of his gay community for his own use of anti gay slurs against Black Eyed Pea front man Will.I.am. Who may or may not have given Hilton a black eye in response. After stirring the situation with deposed beauty queen Carrie Prejean regarding her remarks on gay marriage, Perez ended up looking rather hypocritical by call Mr. I.am a “fucking faggot”.
Is that word like nigger for black people? They can use it right? Apparently that’s not the case because GLADD was anything but when they received wind of Perez Hilton’s heinous slip of the tongue. When GLADD requested an apology Hilton snidely insisted he was the one who deserved an apology.
Career suicide check list.
1.) Create some good natured controversy
2.) Place yourself on the same end of said controversy
3.) Alienate your constituency and support system
4.) INSULT THE BIGGEST POP ICON OF THE LAST 50 YEARS!!
5.) And somewhere squeeze in crying like a bitch over a black eye.

In the end I guess he was right about one thing. The ticket holders will no doubt get their money back.

Dyler Crews
-This has been your Captain speaking