Captain's Log: It's Alive...maybe. 10/20/09

I to like make it a point of proclaiming my skepticism about the occult and supernatural dealings; especially around those who believe in that sorta jive. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t ridicule Ghost Hunters, either internally or audibly, whenever I see a snippet of it, or any of its sister shows, on the air. Besides the fact that all of the “paranormal activity”, which, incidentally, I plan on seeing…also for ridicule, takes place off camera I find it laughable that these frauds can even label themselves experts on supernatural. So I’m incredulous about the improbable. We get it. I take that same scrutiny of the mystical and apply it to conspiracy theories. I’ve heard them all; Paul McCartney, Jim Morrison, Elvis, and of course the government distribution of (insert crack or AIDS here). I never lend any credibility to claims of conspiracy but I enjoy learning about them none the less. However I’ve always avoided one theory despite its relevance to my career aspirations. I’m speaking of course of speculation about 2pac and his supposed death hoax.
It’s not that I’m overly sensitive about it or something, quite the opposite in fact. I never looked into because faking death in our contemporary days of camera phones seems impossible. At least to me. Where the fuck could one hide, barring their parent’s attic, with the whole world looking for you?



Whenever people would present their “proof” about the rap legend’s escape route from the reaper’s touch I would do more than scoff under my breath. “Come the fuck on. There’s a fucking autopsy photo” I would say. I admit it was creepy how Pac always had some relevant commentary on current events that took place after his death, but I just accepted it as part of the aura around his prolific lyrical abilities.


But after I heard this I couldn't deny shit.



FUCKING T.I.P?!? FUCKING OBAMA?!?! HOW?! HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE?!? Suddenly the resolute cornerstone on which my belief about the fraudulent nature of conspiracy is melting around my toes. Is Tupac still alive? Or is his new album “Death Faker” just an attempt to capitalize off of his fan’s hope that he’s still a fan of oxygen. I dunno what to believe. All I know is that if Mr. Machiavelli did fake his demise Richard Heene will have some company behind bars. Thanks for that one Aliya.

Dyler Crews
This has been your captain speaking