I mean I still celebrate it and shit, but exclusively for the presents. Hey, at least I don’t try to guise my interest in the holiday under the banner of “good will to all men”. Ok, ok. I’m a hypocrite too…anyway.
I must’ve been a great boy this year because Santa has already gift wrapped a whopper, no relation to the sandwich…that would be awesome too, of a treat for me; and it isn’t even December. One of my most hated celebrities was arrested last night for attempted burglary. If you guessed Katt Williams then go to the front of the class.
Standup comedy has been one of my favorite forms of entertainment for years. I guess it’s the simplicity of a man and his microphone telling stories without the aid of a supporting cast, special effects, or sexually titillating T&A and other facets of entertainment others rely on. They have to bring the funny with, unless they’re Carlos Mencia, their own thoughts. To me it represents a litmus test of true hilarity in a person. Katt Williams’ baffling rise to the standup elite bugged the shit out of me. Mostly because he depends on voice inflection and not…what are those words…oh yeah clever material. Add this to his smallish stature it and just makes him all the more annoying.
Well again, some deity listens to my prayers because he was arrested in my own backyard of Georgia. I could go into more detail…but I'll let Dane Cook take the floor. (I know he’s hated by a lot of people but this bit is relevant trust me. You don’t have to watch the whole thing. Or do. I don't care.)
Except for Williams’ the bit ends in arrest. Now all of this comes on the heels of this whole “Burglar Bunch” fiasco. I was reluctant to cover the Burglar Bunch because I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. Theft is wrong…but there’s something gratifying about the seemingly smug celebrities that got ripped off for a collective 7 million dollars. Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and the perpetually glazed eyed Audrina Patridge were some of the ones stolen from. Yeah…see what I mean. It’s hard to hate these kids when they seem like Karmic retribution for all of the money those aforementioned celebs stole from us to build a career on doing nothing.
Case in pointI’ve never met Hilton, Lohan, or Patridge but on the off chance I do let me make it clear; I’m trying not to judge you guys too harshly…but I only work with what you give me.
So, the question is who, between Williams and the Burglar Bunch, gets a majority stamp of approval? Is it the celebrity who makes millions stealing from a Joe Schmo? Or is it the affluent kids stealing from wealthier kids? Where does the true greed lie? It’s tough to call.
What I do know is that upon his release, from what I can only guess will be an unfittingly short prison sentence, Williams will turn this story into a string of unfunny jokes. And that folks is the real crime.
Dyler Crews
This has been your captain speaking.
No comments:
Post a Comment