Thursday, June 24, 2010

Captain's Log: Brave New Hurl




Outside of Romero, the bible, and superhero comics resurrection is not only impossible but highly improbable to boot. But in those rare instances where statistics and the laws of death are defied the reanimated corpse (pun definitely intended) becomes a hollow soulless shell of its former glory. For evidence of this just watch any episodes of Family Guy subsequent to its dip in the proverbial Lazarus pit. For those of you with spotty memories the aforementioned Lazarus pit is of course Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim; the network that shepherds dead shows into the great beyond of posthumous appreciation. Not too long ago Adult Swim possessed two shows that have now become the most powerful forces in the adult animation market when they obtained syndication rights to both Futurama and Family Guy. And thus a Ménage à trios of awesomeness occurred (but when is a Ménage à trios ever not awesome) as the three entities mutually rose from obscurity to become household names.

Fox, the previous owner of both shows, became jealous and equally embarrassed that they shit canned two shows who now commanded the respect of the shiny new youth market that networks always salivate over. In an attempt to reestablish themselves as hip Fox reclaimed Family Guy, which as we all know is their rating juggernaut. Sorry Mr. Simpson but lost Futurama in a bidding war waged with Adult Swim and Comedy Central. When the cage door was lifted the battered Comedy Central shocked the world with an upset victory entitling them the right to broadcast four all new Futurama movies and revive the series.



If you enjoyed that little romp through history, good. Because now here comes the polarizing personal opinion people read blogs for. I fucking hated the Futurama movies. I can watch every episode of the series (except for Jurassic Bark and The Devil’s hands are idle playthings…not because they’re bad. But because man tears aren’t a good look on me) but whenever these abominations, rife with continuity errors, come on I tune out. I waited with bated breath hoping the new series would stray from those unsightly blemishes on Futurama’s illustrious and almost untainted legacy. Sadly I was wrong. Last night Fry, Bender, and Leela returned with an underwhelming hour long yawp proclaiming their “Rebirth”. I could go on with a biting critique of the episodes…but I’ll let South Park and Pet Cemetery do it for me. Click here to see it. Couldn’t have said it better myself. You would think Comedy Central would take their own advice.

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