Captain's Log: C'mon it's in our charter 7/16/09

Being an admittedly shameless rip of Fight Club's Tyler Durden myself, I can empathize entirely with other pseudo members of project mayhem(which in reality is known as The Cacophony Society). There's just some level of hypnotism that emanates from Mr. Durden's cynically hedonistic platitudes that resonates with the disenfranchised. Myself included. Most of us who have been ensnared by the call to arms ubiquitous in Mr. Durden's speeches have enough restraint to internalize the ideologies, and remember it's just a FUCKING FILM!(If you've read the book congratulations. If you read the novelization...close enough)

Sadly this isn't always the case. In New York, of all places, one Kyle Shawn,17, was arrested for destroying a piece of corporate art...I mean, uh, detonating a bomb in a Starbucks. Considering how many Starbucks infest every street corner of Manhattan, and how the company itself is monument to the most abhorrent aspects of American capitalism( See, I can read too. But I can't pronounce Palahniuk to save my life. Kinda sad), I can see how it could make an easy target. While I'm most certainly not commending acts of violence against civilians, fucking Starbucks had it coming. As did Shawn, who recently was arrested juvenile displays of idol worship( a simple name change can suffice, dude).

Aside from swiping, and rather unrepentantly at that, the name "Project Mayhem" for his little "homework" assignment, Shawn had the gall to break the first rule of Fight Club and all associated endeavors. HE GLOATED TO FRIENDS! Cryptically cluing in his friends with such trite instructions as "Be sure to watch the news"; Shawn must have discovered expediently why Tyler's only accomplice was himself. Listen kids, If your life is so vacant of meaning that you have to duplicate scenes from a movie to fulfill some misguided God complex, at least FOLLOW THE FUCKING RULES DICTATED TO YOU BY YOUR IDOL.

If there really were a Tyler Durden, Kyle Shawn, he would loathe the fact that you absconded any philosophy from an innocuous piece of Hollywood hogwash to drudge up stale stabs at rebellion aimed at the same purveyors of cerebral cud who petitioned your present puerile posturing.

He would call you a fucking idiot.


You are a fucking idiot.

Try going for a little validity next time.
http://cacophony.org/

Dyler Crews
-This has been your captain speaking.