Captain's Log: This joke isn't funny anymore 10/27/09

Way back in the seemingly ancient year of 2004 I became obsessed with a show by the name of Angel; which isn’t to say I wasn’t already a Whedon loyalist before I became a fan of the fang gang. My allegiances to the Scoobies, akin to a gang turf war, prohibited me from ever seriously associating myself with Angel and his plucky crew of detectives. Truth be told I thought Angel was too much of a carbon copy of its predecessor to strike any fertile creative ground of its own. Couple that with the fact that Angel always came off as a whiny douche on Buffy and you can easily see my dismissive attitude towards the spin off. I avoided the show for the duration of its original run on the, now defunct, WB, and eventually caught the final season in syndication on its current home, TNT. And the rest, as they say, was history.

Ask any diehard BVS(Buffy the vampire slayer for those not in the know)fan to catalog their favorite characters and nine times out of ten William “The Bloody” “Spike” Pratt will top the list.


"Sure...keep telling yourself that's a peace sign"

I am no exception to the stereotype. When scanning the channels for viewing material I happened across Spike…in the offices of Wolfram& Hart(Angel’s base of operations for the exceptional final season). As a piqued curiosity compelled me to watch the episode I made a startling discovery. Not only was Angel an entertaining show but it was staggeringly more astounding than Buffy. I can go on for hours about why Angel, in all of its season, surpassed BVS but I’ll leave it at this. Vampires sell. There’s something mystifying about the myth that makes it so timeless in our society. Joss Whedon had the keen idea of preserving the preternatural practices of vampirism while concurrently humanizing the bloodsuckers. Genius.

When I started to descend into the murky depths of Whedon fandom I tried to share this newfound televised nirvana with everyone I knew. Only to be ultimately shunned by the masses (…*sigh* such is the nature of Whedon fandom. Just ask the Browncoats about Serenity).


"We won't drop the guns until you green light a sequel...NO, MY ARM ISN'T GETTING TIRED!"

Apparently it was just too ridiculous for them to swallow. So, imagine my surprise when TRUE BLOOD, a fucking terribly laughable farce of episodic drama, becomes a mainstream success years later. Only to be followed by the meteoric rise of the mindless Twilight films. Now I don’t mean to offend if you’re fans of either. I’m just a man with an opinion. But this whole nationwide obsession with vampires is making my fucking blood boil. Look on every channel, in every book store, and even on city buses and you can’t escape the brooding preteen vampires that make a mockery of everything Whedon created.


"Do we have to brood and hug at the same time? They seem like conflicting ideas"

"WE BROOD ALL THE TIME DAMMNIT! HOW ELSE WILL TEEN GIRLS KNOW WHEN TO SWOON?!"

This seems to be a reoccurring theme for my life. I read comics and get ostracized for it. Then X-men hits and suddenly the posers flood the comic stores. Now it’s vampires?! I feel like Hollywood execs are watching my moves waiting for the next big thing. I know that’s hardly true but you get the idea. I guess I’ll just ride out this hypocritical hysteria until some other trend catches fire. But for now this vampire bit has really gotten old. Nosferatu old.



Dyler Crews
This has been your captain speaking